American Horror Story: Roanoke – Chapter 8

This show is really starting to kill them off which makes for a good game of Who’s Next?

Let’s start with fake-Matt and real-Shelby: they’re freaking out about the real-Butcher and decide to try and escape by going through the tunnel. They don’t get far because the spider-like Chens start chasing them. They head back into the house, where they’re met by the pig man and the nurses, and even though a chandelier falls and hits real-Shelby in the ankle, they manage to escape and make it to fake-Shelby’s room.

They go into the bathroom, and real-Shelby has lost all hope. Fake-Matt is trying to comfort her and convince her that they’re going to make it out, but with real-Matt real dead real-Shelby doesn’t feel as though there’s anything left for her, and so she SLITS HER OWN THROAT!

Back to real-Lee, who is slowly being eaten alive by Mama Polk and her son Jetherd or Jether, I don’t know, some hillbilly name like that. Real-Lee tries to scare her by saying she’ll get caught, and Mama Polk is like, “lol, we’re in cahoots with the cops”, just as real-Lee suspected.

Mama Polk leaves, and real-Lee and Jetherd get to talking. He offers her some cocaine because she’s going to get cut some more, and she accepts because what’s the point of being sober now?

Before she gets cut up some more, she tells Jetherd she wants to see her daughter and has him pull a picture of Flora out of her back pocket. She then requests to talk to her, so Jetherd records her final message to Flora, which includes the usual: I love you, a few positive affirmations, and that SHE KILLED MASON!

It’s just one bombshell after another in this episode.

Then she pretends to seduce Jetherd, so he unties her, and then she kills him and escapes. While she uses her smarts to get out, fake-Lee and fake-Shelby are being fucked with by Mama Polk and her other boys, and all fake-Lee and fake-Shelby can do is cry and beg for mercy.

You’re not going to get that from the Polk’s; instead, you’ll get your teeth taken, which is what they plan to do to fake-Lee and fake-Shelby. They start with fake-Lee but the pliers and the chair she is tied to break so while one of the Polk brothers leaves to grab another pair of pliers, the other Polk stands up fake-Lee who whips his ass.

She then tries to untie fake-Shelby but can hear Mama Polk coming back, so she leaves. Mama Polk sends her son to get fake-Lee and then takes fake-Shelby’s tooth. Mama Polk is about to take another tooth when real-Lee comes in and clubs her. Real-Shelby finishes the job by bashing her head in.

Bashed-in heads are very trendy on this season of American Horror Story.

Anyway, they make it back to the house through the tunnel, and real-Lee finds real-Matt’s real dead body. Fake-Shelby convinces her to keep moving, and they make it to fake-Shelby’s room where she has some meds for real-Lee.

Fake-Shelby goes into the bathroom where she sees real dead real-Shelby, and real-Lee joins her. Fake-Matt tells them what happened with real-Shelby and real-Matt, which they don’t believe, so they kick him out of the room.

Fake-Matt finally gets his comeuppance when the real pig-man kills him. Fake-Shelby and real-Lee survive the night. Real-Lee wants to go back to the Polk farm to retrieve the tape that recorded the killings but also to get back her recorded confession. They head to the front door, open it, and there’s the pig-man. Fake-Shelby clubs him, and it turns out it’s not the pig-man; it’s someone named Dillon.

WHO IS DILLON? WHO IS GOING TO SURVIVE? WHERE IS FAKE-LEE? DID SHE LIVE?

I don’t know, we have to wait for Wednesday. This may have seemed like a short episode but there was mainly a lot of talking before killings and tooth-taking and such.

Also, I’ve decided I’m cheering for real-Lee, but with the luck I’ve had with this show the one survivor will probably be an extra who played Villager #4 who only appeared in the background of one episode.

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